Vices are an odd thing. Things that can take you down before you’re even aware they were even there at all, and on the other hand, they can be glaringly right in your face.
Mocking you. Shaming you. Whittling away at your life, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, before you realize you just wasted away your month or worse, your life.
The most frustrating part of it all is that none of these items are inherently bad.
That’s right, you can actually have a healthy relationship with all of these things. Some of them can even help and be a way of helping you grow as a man. So how do you know the difference? How can you tell if you have a problem?
This is where our brain plays all sorts of tricks on us. Telling us we’re controlling it, whispering in our ear, no way I have a problem. I can stop at any time. No really, any time. I just don’t want to.
Scumbag brain bamboozles us again.
So how do you get to the real truth when you’re brain has been hijacked? Let’s take a look a look at the vices first, and then we’ll drop an intervention on Scumbag Brain.
What if I told you that if you mastered this single vice would help kicking any of the other vices on this list 500% easier? What if I told you that this VICE is absolutely responsible for every other vice on this list? How much time would you spend dedicating to mastering this vice? A whole lot right?
Now pause for a minute, and take that in, before I tell you what it is, because as soon as I tell you what it is, scumbag brain is going to jump in and yell, “B.S!”
I assure you this is the #1 vice, so you’re going to put the most energy and time into kicking it. Remember that.
Ready? Did you actually pause? Master your brain. It is not the boss of you. Okay, drum roll.
The #1 vice neutering your manhood is your relationship with your feelings, emotions, and fear. What do I mean by that? Well, everything else on this list starts out as a strategy to deal with feelings, emotions, and fear. Some of these turn into a true physical and psychological dependency, but it usually starts here.
Those pesky feelings and emotions that no one has taught us men how to manage. We’ll talk about this more later, but for now, let’s see what happens when we deal with our frustration, anger, and fear by suppressing and masking them.
Vice #2, #3, #4, and #5
It always starts with just one. Just one puff or just one drink. Before you know it, you can’t make it through the evening without taking the edge off. I’m not hurting anyone right? Except, you’re hurting yourself.
I’m not anti-drinking or anti-weed, but if you’re not happy or fulfilled in your life, you’ve got to face the reality of these two sources of avoidance. If you really want to get a handle on it, you’ll probably need to ask someone you trust for their honest opinion, and then listen to them.
Our own judgement is often suspect. What may have started as social and recreational can quickly become dependence and addiction. Don’t let this sneaky villain take you down.
Along the same lines, #4 is video games. Yep, video games. Can you believe it? What better way to trick the brain into growing and progress than making sit in front of a screen developing and nurturing virtual conquests! No, I’m not anti-video games either. I love my fair share and there’s a time and place for them. But when you get to a point where your real life is falling apart and stagnant, but your Warlock is level 110 or you have 99% of all the achievements unlocked, you might have a problem.
Which brings us to #5, gambling. Yep, the real life video game where you’re guaranteed to hit the continue button for another quarter until you lose your money, life, and sanity. This is coming from a poker player. I’ve seen guys dump their life savings chasing the House, or worse, just chasing the high. There’s a lot of resources out there for you so get help if this applies to you.
Vice #6 and #7
The grand daddy of them all and saved especially for last because this one got me. If you’ve read the Start Here page, you know I battled with porn addiction. Pornography snuck into my life and made me think and feel like I was The Man. But it’s not just about pornography here.
Many men are addicted to women as well. The thrill of the chase and conquest with nothing meaningful to show or speak for it. They have no problem getting laid, but they’re empty inside. Nothing is good enough.
Every woman, real or virtual, is just like a drug hit. A needle in the arm. A puff on the joint. Freebasing the infinite loop of trying to feel like a man because what better way to feel in control than to have meaningless sex over and over right? At least it’s not porn addiction!
Or so they thought.
Our brains were designed to procreate. To continually spread our seed anywhere and everywhere. Our brains were well adapted for that mission. But now, that mission has changed and our brains have been very slow to catch up and so here we are. Are we lost and stuck? Or can we harness the power of our loins for good?
Well, I wouldn’t be here unless the answer was a resounding YES, but it’s not easy. It takes work, commitment, and discipline. If you’re not up for that, then you’re a lost cause.
If you’re ready to tackle your vices head on, well then, let’s talk because I’m here to help you become a Powerful Man.
For now, let’s get back to the task at hand.
How do you know you have a problem?
Just see if any of these statements describe you. Take a deep breath and be honest.
- I use any of the vices to avoid my problems and frustrations.
- I am unhappy with certain areas of my life, but continue to spend time, money, and energy on my vices instead of tackling my stressors head on.
- I find myself mindlessly doing one of the vices without thought or intention.
- I feel guilt or shame after wasting my time on any of my vices.
- I have harmed my physical, mental, financial, emotional, or relationship well-being by doing any of the vices.
- I have never been able to “quit” the vice for more than two weeks. Seriously, try it. See what happens.
- I sneak around or hide doing any of these vices from my family, partner, spouse, or significant others.
- I feel lost or out of control when it comes to any of these vices.
- My family or friends have expressed concern over my activities in these areas.
- I feel trapped, stuck, and helpless in my life and these vices help me cope.
How’d you do?
Unless you’re already a master at your life, more than likely, one or more of these describes you. That’s okay because you’re going to get a handle on it.
The first step is always recognizing there’s a problem. You’ve done that.
The next step is to sign up to the email list so I can send you real practical tips and strategies so you can get your life back.
I’ll see you on the other side!